take your broken he♥rt …

since 1999 … January has been a challenging month with the anniversary of our son’s death… he was killed exactly one month before his 17th birthday…magpies-nest-turn-into-art-left-background

this year I wanted to create a January Art Journal to help me through this bumpy time… turns out I am feeling like I’ve turned a bit of a corner with lightness and joy and many more bright days than dark (extremely grateful for that!!!)…magpies-nest-patty-szymkowicz-turn-into-art-right-side

losing a child is every parents worst nightmare…  even I have a hard time finding the words to comfort friends that have lost a loved one…magpies-nest-patty-szymkowicz-heart-closeup

it is not my intention to look for sympathy by mentioning Alex but rather to share that there is hope for joy in life after great loss as I’m sure some of you have also experienced… somehow we keep on going…
magpies-nest-turn-into-art-background

what I would say to anyone suffering from grief and loss is be gentle with yourself… there are no rules… seek healing in ways that feel right to you and know that it will get more bearable over time…magpies-nest-patty-szymkowicz-take-your-broken-heart-turn-it-into-art

I am joining Erika’s “tell me a story” challenge over at Art Journal Journey…

and thanks to Susi’s invitation to join the L♥VE theme over at Moo-Mania & More

“It has been said, ‘that time heals all wounds.’  I do not agree.  The wounds remain.  In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens.  But it is never gone.” ~Rose Kennedy

40 responses to “take your broken he♥rt …

  1. Nicole Douthit

    My heart breaks for your loss….you are a beautiful person as is your beautiful & heartfelt project.

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  2. Patty… January too is a tough month for me… I read your post with tears in my eyes. Yes, we have to find some healing one way or the other, but Rose Kennedy’s words are so true “but it is never gone”… Thinking of you. oxo

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  3. I can imagine how awful it must have been to lose your son. My second daughter died in the womb in the 8th month, and the pain never goes away. But art helps to heal, and friends, and the beauty around us. Thanks for another wonderful page for AJJ, Alles Liebe, Valerie

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  4. Dear Patty
    I can understand you very well, it is certainly a feeling where you think you fall into a black hole and you will never get over it. It may be easier, but there are always situations where everything comes back up.
    I find this site fantastic, even if the reason for it is not a joyful one.
    All the best

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  5. Your words on the page speak the truth… art can be wonderful therapy or even a momentary escape from a harsh reality. Your page is beautiful in all ways. ❤

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  6. I am so very grateful that you can share your thoughts, memories and feelings about Alex. It’s so important to remember those we love, living or not. Such a young and unexpected death is more difficult that words can express. I’m fortunate not to have experienced that with our guys. But one of my dearest friends has and it is a long, long journey. I’m glad to see your lightness and joy is returning. You are so right — no rules, no timetable. Just be.

    Your spread gives me that feeling of light and joy, and also of a heaven that is lovely beyond belief.

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  7. Dearest Patty,
    I will not compare loosing a dead ,newborn, baby, to a child you had with you, for many years, not at all, –only say,that for me, what you tell is true. Now it is 34 years ago, and I can live with sun and happiness , also the month my little boy was buried, so many years ago. So time surely makes a difference, and I`m so very happy you are starting to feel it, too . It is a long road to walk, and your beautiful spread, is showing me, you now, also see the sunshine,and light ,in your life, even still being so sad ,for your loss.
    Thank you for writing to us, Patty ,also about this important part of your life, dearest friend.
    I love your stenciling and how you used the words,- and amazing colors.
    Hugs from me.

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  8. Beautiful and heart felt spread Patty – I did not know. You explained the path from brokenness to wholeness so very well. The fact that you feel gratitude with the healing process that has left you more joy and lightness than dark explains so much about your personality. You know how much I love you sweet lady!
    Sandy xx

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  9. Fran Podlesney

    Beautifully said Patty! I wish you peace, hope and joy in your life!

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  10. Oh Patty ! You are so right with the words on your wonderful heart – felt spread and I know that your art is the best therapy for you – and at the same time your art makes us happy too. This is a true gift of
    nature with therapeutic qualities that heals your heart and soul – even though there is no cure for such a loss.
    You and your art – beautiful in all ways liebe Patty!
    Happy weekend to you and Mr. Magpie!
    Thank you for joining Art Journal Journey with such a precious entry!
    ( maybe you want to link to LOVE at MMM as well ? – would be much appreciated)
    ♥♥♥
    Susi

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  11. Oh, Patty, January is a sad month for me too. So sorry for your loss.
    Love your wonderful journal pages.

    Have a lovely weekend

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  12. this is utterly lovely! but i’m so terribly sorry for your untimely loss. it is beyond words. sending love to your hurting heart. xo

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  13. This is such a heart touching post Patty, I am sure in many ways it was hard for you to write but in other ways very helpful to write too. Loss of a child is so difficult, whether they are yours or others. I don’t mean that meanly, I simply mean to say that I still think of the couple of my students that were lost while here at school and that makes me very sad, so I cannot image what it is like to lose your own child. Sending you warm caring thoughts for being so brave to write this, and I hope your journal really helps you get more light during this dark month. Hugs-Erika

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  14. What a beautiful spread and beautiful message you shared. I’m so thankful you are able to share with others. That is a gift indeed. Big hugs.

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  15. This is incredibly powerful, dear Patty. I know it’s difficult for you to talk about, and I hope you know that by doing so, someone else out there has been helped. I can’t imagine what it is like to lose a child, so I won’t even begin to compare it to other losses.

    Thank you for sharing this incredible and uplifting post (and beautiful quote) with us. I know you have helped at least one person who read and appreciated this.

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  16. Your journals are beautiful Patty. I am thinking of you xx

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  17. Such a sad time for you both Patty. It is good that you can help lessen the pain with your creativity. Perhaps, in your own way, you are helping others in their grief.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. ♥♥♥
    Thank you dear Patty!
    Great that you linked to Moo Mania & More !
    ♥♥♥

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  19. What a touching, heartfelt post dear Patty. My heart aches for you having to endure the incredible loss of your beloved Alex. Your journal spread is a gorgeous example of the love that lasts and can heal. Thank you for sharing Alex with us, and also for sharing the link on words to comfort friends. Sending you hugs and prayers dear one.

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  20. Such a beautiful and touching post! (((Hugs)))

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  21. You have shared some of your heartfelt feeling with us in this very touching post Patty. Your journal pages look beautiful and it shows when looking at them, that they were created with love.
    It is good that your art is helping you through this month.
    Yvonne xx

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  22. So very sorry to know that you lost a precious child ~ my heart breaks, knowing you and your family had to endure “a parent’s worst nightmare!” Wishing you and your dear family joy and pleasures in the simple things while keeping your beautiful boys memory alive in each beat of your hearts!!

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  23. My dear friend we have a saying: If no one thinks on a human, no one talks about a human and no one remembers this human, only then he is really dead. So all the gone beloved ones live on in our hearts,thaughts and words. Your journal spread is so lovely and the words so good.
    So good to read that Art made your life more lightful. Art can make our scars paler and less painful, not more and not less.
    Big Hugs
    Sabine

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  24. Hello dear Patty, I love your Healing (heart) Art page, it’s gorgeous, the colours and textures are amazing and your words so true. .

    It’s wonderful you are healing and yes it’s a slow process. As you know I understand some of your pain, but my husband feels it more than me. I loved my step-son very much and it was so painful to lose him. Of course I don’t know exactly how you feel, but I can imagine some of the pain, but I’m sure it’s deeper.

    As I sit here, I have tears in my eyes, but it’s OK to feel the sadness because as you each day brings healing. Life has a lot of joy and light as you said. Your photography and art is always so beautiful, so I know you see life’s beauty. Big Hugs, Shirley xxx

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  25. Love to you and mr magpie, dear heart. Much much love.

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  26. Liebe Patty, thank you so much for joining us at MOO MANIA & MORE

    OXO

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  27. Dear Patty,
    I wonder if you know exactly how many ways you touch peoples hearts?I am eternally grateful for this~
    Thank you always for sharing your family with us,you my dear,Mr.Magpie,Colin and Alex,you are all part of my life now and happy to have you all in my heart.
    sending love and hugs xoxo

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  28. Oh my Patty, what a wonderful post and artwork you have created in memory of your dear son and all those who have lost a loved one! My heart is reaching out to you and sending you loving wishes to bring you joy! J 🙂 x

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  29. Beautiful post. Yes, the hope is everything. Gives a reason to live. God’s blessings to you.

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  30. A beautiful post, with beauty of your heart. I am right there with you.

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  31. Beautiful art journal work! I’m glad you’ve had more lighter days than dark – thinking of you…

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  32. Stunning pages patty!

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  33. Hi Patty…. I am so sorry you had to endure the loss of your son at such a young age. Life is difficult enough without suffering a loss so tragic and life changing. But, like you said, somehow, you get through it…although never quite past it. I like to think that through it we become one thousand times more compassionate, we love harder and we live or lives with greater humility and grace, appreciating the moments that give us true joy far more than those who haven’t had to crawl up through that undefinable depth of grief. I sense in you a wealth of kindness that is greater than the deepest ocean. I am grateful for your presence in my life.

    Trudi

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  34. Your page is a beautiful tribute to the healing process that you live each day. Knowing you never will get over the grief but that you can survive and live on is a big step. My heart goes out to you ♥

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  35. Beautiful journal pages and beautiful words in your blog. Hugs to you on this day and all days.

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  36. Heart breakingly beautiful thoughts and pages. My thoughts, prayers and love are with you, dearest Patty.

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  37. such a beautiful project hugs to you for this sad month

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  38. What a positive message! I wish you well.

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  39. OH PATTY! Life can be so cruel – but art and creativity can bring some good moments, the quote is so helpful!
    Alles Liebe, Rike

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  40. I am sorry for your loss. I hope February has warmed and eased your heart.

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Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts here...it means a lot to me and I appreciate your visit very much oxo

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